Connor is so kind, smart, funny, and very sweet. He has really big emotions and sometimes those big feelings can be hard for him to articulate and difficult for me to understand. Connor’s big emotions (and really big meltdowns) can make it hard to feel connected to him leaving me feeling like a total failure as his mom.
I have learned recently though that one way I can connect with Connor is by spending quality time with him one on one. I try not to put too much pressure on myself to make this time be something grand. It is more likely to happen if it can naturally fit into our day.
So, one way that I connect with Connor is by spending time with him doing things he loves. Anyone who knows Connor will tell you- Connor LOVES to read. You will rarely see him without a book in his hands. So, we read.
During this time we snuggle on his bed and take turns reading to each other. One of my favorite things about reading with Connor is when we read something that sparks a conversation. If we read something in the book that reminds him of something he experienced, he’ll stop and tell me about it. Or sometimes he has a question about a situation in the book. I look forward to his questions and feel like I learn so much about him through these conversations. This time definitely helps me feel more connected to my son.
During a particularly difficult time with Connor, my amazing, super smart friend Jane recommended I start a notebook for Connor and I. This was such a genius idea and I am so thankful for Jane sharing this with me.
Connor and I take turns writing to each other in our notebook each week. Right now, his notes to me are short but I am hopeful that if we keep this up, Connor will know that this is a safe spot to write down whatever he may be feeling or ask me any question he may have. I am hopeful that through this notebook I will be able to connect deeper with Connor.
How do you connect with your children? Do you have a special time with your kids? Let me know what works for your family.
